Ah, Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us! Last year I thought it'd be funny to play along after watching the infamous Seinfeld episode and reading about it on the web. But, will it ever be more than just a fad? There's only one way to find out: science!
I started preparations a week early by launching an anti-Christmas campaign on various social networks and trying to spread Festivus cheer. Throughout the evening of the 23rd I went ahead and aired my grievances all over Twitter. This proved to be a very satisfying part of the tradition. My greatest grievance, though, was that there was a tree instead of a pole in my living room. Christmas will not die easily, especially when there are children in the house. For the traditional Festivus Dinner we had Orange Chicken Wraps, keeping in mind that too heavy a meal could spoil the Feats of Strength. It proved to be a wise decision when my wife and kids effectively pinned me down in an epic tickle fight (maybe when they're older we can upgrade to more grueling feats). Ah, finally, I witnessed firsthand the most glorious Festivus miracle; I am cured of seasonal depression! I guess a sad Christmas is less soul crushing when you approach it with absolutely no expectations.
I believe the experiment was a success. The holiday is entirely plausible. I had lots of fun and next year I'm taking it up a notch or two. I might even acquire a pole, cook a fancy dinner and actually challenge a grown-up to an epic feat of strength.
Yes, I'm aware it's still silly. But even if it never goes beyond being a fad, it's still better than celebrating Jesus' birthday on the wrong day by doing things he would frown upon.