Maybe I'm an atheist

The last couple of years have been pretty weird.

I think it was roughly three years ago, before I ragequit Facebook, that I changed my "religious views" field therein to "Agnostic". It's weird if you consider three years before that I was posting some rather .. uh .. gnostic posts here.

How did that happen? I read those posts just now and seems past me was already leaning quite hard on the "maybe" philosophy. Some things I read make me want to slap myself repeatedly, but I choose not to edit those posts. Those are historical documents! The following will contradict my previous writings, but I feel I kinda understand what the dude who wrote those was thinking.

It has been established that I will not rewrite history, so let's add more context, instead! Cue the flashback sound effect!

I was raised a catholic. I was baptized and all... but then that was pretty much it. My family only went to church on special occasions. I got the basics, sure, I was able to fit in with the masses. But I had many, many unanswered questions.

In my pre-teen years I'd lay in bed thinking for hours. If god created everything, what created god?

By the time I was done with high school I was a closet atheist. I never brought it up for fear of being disowned. Oh, and yes, there was a sliver of fear left. I didn't want to anger god in case it turns out he was there all along.

But then suddenly I was in a pew, admittedly to impress a girl. But eventually I started liking the church. The people were friendly, it was a fun atmosphere, and then there was the fallacy I didn't see coming. The false dilemma; I was given an alternative to catholicism, along with a long list of things that were wrong with catholicism, and I reasoned, much to my eventual chagrin, that if A was wrong, then B had to be the answer.

I have no regrets. The whole thing lasted about 10 years. I did not hurt anyone, and I didn't make any harsh decisions. But I wouldn't do it again if I had a chance.

In my last years of church going I started seeing the cracks. The congregation stopped smiling. The pastor started scolding. I felt the constant judgement and contempt. I don't think they changed, though. Maybe they saw something in me, and gave up on me. You see, I tried very hard to believe, but my prayers were never answered. Things kept going wrong. I kept losing one job after another. Me and my wife argued more and more. I was convinced something was wrong with me. I suppose I was not the only one.

Pentecostal church is very physical. Lots of instant gratification going on. People being healed, the dancing, the speaking in tongues, the falling back when hands were laid upon you... Oh, yes, the laying of hands! I remember getting a few good shoves while I was being prayed for. It was pretty rough at times! Every time I took a step back to regain my balance. I waited for the real thing. I was supposed to black out and have a supernatural experience, and instead I just got pushed. I think this enraged the pastor.

I started seeing people lie at the pulpit all the time. I saw people with questionable morals telling others how to act. I was outraged, but for a good while my faith didn't falter. I was trained by the church not to lose heart due to people being flawed, and I was warned about the false prophets.

One day a guest preacher said that god had asked to pray for someone who was born with a deformed arm. Nobody approached the altar. We all knew who she was talking about. A few days, in casual conversation, this person brought up that the arm was fine at birth, and it was deformed in an accident. Busted.

To make things worse, every sunday it became harder and harder to get the kids all dressed up on time. So we started missing services. Sleeping in on sundays is divine, let me tell you. And in those days where we might be able to make it on time, we chose not to go.

I stopped praying. I stopped wishing. The habits died pretty quick. The bitter thoughts came back, slowly and steadily.

I started to carefully play attention to science subjects I had only skimmed through before, looking for answers. I made a point to understand the theory of evolution and the big bang theory. I also learned what a theory is! I think that's when the agnosticism clicked. All these years I had missed (and my old blog posts will prove this) the true beauty of science.

A true scientist is not ashamed of saying "we don't know, but we'll get back to you on that as soon as we find anything". A true scientist wants to be questioned. There are no absolutes, no authorities, and nothing is sacred. I learned that science is not an alternative to religion. Science will not provide answers to spiritual questions. You're not supposed to believe it, you're supposed to understand it.  So I stopped trying to believe in science at about the same time I stopped trying to understand faith.

Today I'm perfectly fine knowing that I will rot and be forgotten. All record of my existence will be obliterated. Maybe in three or four generations, tops, but that's a negligible amount of time when you consider infinity. Oh well, hopefully this blog will be around for a few years beyond that.

Life is not pointless, all my actions will make infinitely small ripples through the cosmos. I am a good person, not because of a fear of hell, or a promise of heaven, but because I want my legacy to make the universe better when I'm gone, and because I want my limited days on earth to be happy.

Am I an atheist? Maybe, sometimes. I don't go preaching godlessness. But I'm not preaching anything I can't prove (and explain) either. Sure, sometimes I feel outraged and want to choke people while yelling "BUT THERE IS NO GOD!" straight into their misguided little brains, but that's only sometimes. For example when people use their faith to justify an evil act, or when they're being assholes.

So, is there a god? Is there an afterlife? I have no reason to believe so, but I'll get back to you if I find something, in the meantime, follow the teachings of Wil Wheaton (don't be a dick) and you should be fine!

Clever 201d

Whenever I do homework with my children I die a little. I silently weep for our future.

Every time they look at me with blank eyes and say "I don't know" like I was there in the classroom and I'm supposed to know what they're talking about. I look at the instructions provided by the teachers looking for an answer and it's clear their intention is never to teach, only to judge. Their job is to measure a child's value as human beings on a scale of A to F.

It sickens me.

The education system does not need to be fixed. It doesn't need to be modernized. It doesn't need to change. It needs to be abolished.

Sure, there are some rare cases of teachers who care a bit, but they care for the group, not the individual. There is no love. Shoving all these kids in a classroom with an adult that does not give a shit about them is insane. If you've ever been bullied you'll understand. I was a victim of bullying, and I'm not talking everyday teasing and mockery celebrities are “fighting against” nowadays. Never take bullying advice from someone who’s beautiful and talented! I'm talking of scheduled beatings and humiliation. Why? Was it because I was the new kid? Was I perceived as weak? Nah, it was all simply because nobody gave a fuck about my well-being. My friends ran away or turned against me. When I got home my parents were too busy to do anything about it. Maybe once or twice they showed up in school, but there's nothing they could have done by then. Who is going to learn shit when they’re spending class thinking of an escape route? No way, man; every classroom is its own little “lord of the flies.”

Under natural circumstances a child is taught all they need to know by their immediate family and the community. The child is surrounded by children, but also of caring adults. They need to learn what it’s like to be an adult by observing adults, not children! This is where they pick their role models and start to figure out what their role in life is going to be, until one day they decide; “I want to be a farmer” or a blacksmith, or a hunter…

Whatever happened to apprenticeship? You know, when a youth learns to make a living. Schools only teach us to take tests only so we can take more tests! At least that’s all I learned! I found out I had ADD when I was in my thirties, there was no medication, no special ed., and no support from my parents. I never turned in any homework. I doodled during class, yet I did ok until high school. How? Have you heard of Clever Hans? This damned horse could do math! Well, it turns out it was just good at doing tests! Look it up, it’s fascinating! To this day I pride myself of being able to see the “matrix code” within a test, and to select the correct answer, not by knowing it’s correct, but by knowing what the teacher wants.

Without further ado, this is what you need to be a successful student.

1. There’s usually four options to a multiple choice question, two are similar, but completely wrong, then one is right, and one is wrong but very similar to the right one. Read all the questions in the test and you will have enough of a context to discard the two wrong options.
2. Look at the remaining two, find the difference between them and reverse engineer the answer into a question, always keeping in mind the teacher is trying to trick you. You know how you can get across a maze (unless it’s done by a pro) by starting at the exit? It’s the same thing.
3. When in doubt choose the third option, unless there’s “all of the above”, in that case pick that.
4. Fill-in-the-blanks questions ALWAYS answer themselves.
5. Answer essay questions like it’s a beauty pageant: By making a long sentence using ALL the words in the question.

If you follow these steps you should be able to get a perfect score on a poorly done test and a decent grade on more elaborate ones. This technique should be enough to get you through high school. Then you’re fucked in college because their teachers are pros. Then go observe some adults flipping burgers and adopt one as your role model.

Goodbye, Spambook. You will be missed.

About a week or two ago I took the decision of quitting Facebook. I told all my friends, even started an event to catch their attention. I wanted to make sure I didn't lost contact with anyone who cared enough. I posted my Twitter handle, my Google Plus profile, and even a link to this here blog.

What did I hate about it? Nothing really, it was just a combination of things that were mildly annoying.

The first problem with Facebook was that it is like the Internet when it started in the early nineties; back when I was in high school, when we were figuring out search engines, email, IRC chat, HTML, and random websites about random stuff. When the World Wide Web was like the wild, wild, west. There was no law upon the vast openness. Some of the earliest webpages were also the most disturbing. Computer viruses that would spread like the plague through shared floppies could now send themselves to new hosts. Hate groups could share their evil ideas and form nice communities. Kids that were once bullied could become the greatest assholes. These were dark days, but I still remember them fondly. How did we survive this era? We simply did because we had to! Soon enough, after the novelty wore off, there were laws; unwritten guidelines that we all followed. The two pillars of this law were spam and netiquette. For a few years the Internet was a nice place to spend time. Then, as a parallel to mankind in general - our creations evolving faster than our minds, and our minds evolving faster than our bodies - technology made the internet accessible to anyone, even people who didn't ask for it. Phone companies started building smartphones and making them mandatory. Social networks came in and once more became mandatory. A nice old lady walked into the phone store because her Nokia had broken, and an astute salesman sent her home with a fucking android preloaded with MySpace, Facebook and Twitter. Now, before you shrug me off as a snob, read this carefully. This people did not ask for the internet. They were forced into it. I'm not talking about just the elderly. I'm talking about the jocks, the bros, the hot chicks, the artists, the teachers, the housewives… people who already had a life, a job and hobbies. People who were happy. People who had life figured out. People who did not have the tech savvy that we relied on to keep the internet from collapsing on our heads. People who took it all for granted. My mom and dad both have Facebook accounts. My younger brother, who was never into technology and barely even played video games as a boy has one. Many of my uncles and aunts have Facebook accounts, and my grandparents were they alive, they'd be on Facebook as well. I know I'm starting to sound like a hipster, just bear with me for a second. The problem is that all these new users were shoved into a world without any guidelines. There is no instruction manual. Just post whatever you're doing or thinking, and click the like button. I have no patience to relive the nineties. My mother in law posts everything in uppercase and refuses to stop even after I explained how annoying it is. My uncle keeps tagging me in pictures of a guy taking a shit and such. My friend's sister posts that she's selling this or that on a daily basis. These are tiny details that irk me just as much. They are still people I love. No I'm not going to stop loving my mom for making an embarrassing comment on my status.

The second problem is such a large part of the first that it deserved its own paragraph. Back when email was still a novelty, people had the tendency of re-sending any interesting emails they got to their friends. Eventually this came to be known as spam, and such conduct slowly receded. The Internet came up with less annoying ways to share these amusing anecdotes. Then social networks came and it got worse. Now you're an asshole of you don't copy and paste the whole thing! "97% of my friends don't love me enough to post this as their status". A big, heartfelt, FUCK YOU to anyone who has ever started any of these chains.

The third problem was getting to really know some people. One good thing about life before the eighties was that you'd assume everybody was very smart by the way they spoke. Now there's nothing but bitter disappointment when I see some of my relatives' spelling and grammar, yeah, the same people who expected me to have straight As in school. I'd see people post the silliest things and I realize we have nothing in common. Religion, politics, superstition… even music - these are things you should not discuss openly. In some extreme cases there were people I liked that turned out to be real jerks. How can a someone who is nice in person be an absolutely evil on a social network?

The fourth problem is gaming. I have covered this in several occasions on my gaming-related blog. Some games in there are OK, but none of them is worth the continuous spamming for gifts, energy or other in-game favors. I still can't believe I have friends that ONLY use Facebook for gaming.

I'm glad the internet is so widespread now. News travel faster now. We get to know each other better now. We keep in touch. It's all really nice. What I like the most about Facebook is that it made me realize I was not alone in this world, that there are people who care about me even though they don't really know me. It was certainly a worthwhile experiment.

Remember, if it doesn't make you money and it doesn't make you happy. Don't do it. - Adam Carolla

So why am I quitting? I simply don't enjoy it anymore. To those few that kept me interested the novelty seems to have worn off, so they barely post anything. I find myself staring at a wall of uninteresting fact about acquaintances I barely know, untagging myself from pictures and blocking apps and people altogether. The fun is ghone. Time to move on. I just hope Twitter and Google+ don't end up like this.

Now, I may have not been clear enough, so I will restate this: I am not quitting on my friends and my family. I’m quitting on a broken social network. I still love my friends, and I hope you can still keep in touch.

Broken Democracy

The first time I ever voted was in 2008. I attribute this to a lack of interest in whatever any of the running candidates had to offer. You see, politics in my country are pretty messed up.

Contrary to what you'd see in most democracies, where different parties pick a side (left or right) based on their ideals on how the country should run, we have 3 parties which differentiate themselves solely by the kind of relation they want to have with the United States. Right after breaking free of the Spanish monarchy these options made a lot of sense; this seemed like an issue that needed to be resolved immediately, so the population set all other differences aside and picked a party. The only problem is that things have been the same for generations. That's why I was not interested in either, but at the time, I wasn't quite able to put my finger on it, probably because I didn't really care. All I knew was that they would promise to lead us in the right direction only to have four more years of nothing happening and I got bored of it. I also remember arguing with other kids at school over politics, actually, over our parents' views on politics. We'd sing parodies of the other guy's campaign jingles and attend rallies for fun.

On the last election year a fourth party was formed and, always being one to root for the underdog, I started "following" it. I'd pay closer attention to debates on TV, listen to the news and read the paper. It all made so much sense now. Their point was exactly what I had been thinking, we need to start worrying about the real issues and then we'll be able to make a better decision regarding colonial status. Suddenly you'd see candidates bring deeper topics forward, caring more about the economy, the environment, social and moral issues - subjects they'd never bring up when it was just the usual suspects. I was really pumped.

My party flopped so bad it wasn't even funny. I haven't heard about them ever since. I wasn't really surprised. What surprised me was that once the dust settled, everything was back to normal. I was really hoping for some change in the way politicians went about themselves.

Well, all that reading and listening wasn't a complete waste of time. I realized the same people have toyed with my entire country for the last century. The two major parties (pro-statehood and pro-status quo) have had a perpetual tug-of-war for power that only seems to fuel the loyalty of a fanatical legion of blind followers. It doesn't matter how corrupt their candidate is, or how much potential the adversary has, voters are taught that if they let the enemy win, in the blink of an eye, their "ideal" wins forever (even though that has never happened). They make such a great spectacle that nobody ever suspects that both parties share the exact same ideals and that in order to keep the fear of each other alive, nothing will ever be done in regards of our colonial status. Things will remain unchanged as long as they are allowed to continue taking turns stuffing their pockets at the people's expense.

Speaking of fear, I'm pretty sure half the people in this country have no idea what a republic is. I kid you not. Up until the nineties, the word "republic" was used by those against independence to scare the others into believing that "without the US we would become a republic". I guess they, being so fond of the states, didn't know that it is a republic. So you can imagine what the general understanding of any other forms of government is. It's not because people can't understand or don't care, it's because their eyes have been shrouded. In public school, history class is always very vague and always skips decades of important events. Kids are diverted with fairytale-like stories about the native Tainos and the Spanish conquistadors. From there to the present, it's all fuzzy. Moreover, we're never taught the history of the United States. What could it be that those in power don't want the people to know? Is it maybe that they're all a bunch of borderline far right-wingers?

Year after year the news covers countless stories of corruption, bribing and embezzlement. Year after year, they prove their allegiance to the wealthy. And every four years the people either "revolt" out of anger for a terrible administration or re-elect out of fear the "opposing" party may be even worse. Every debate is based solely on their plans to resolve the colonial status and a few pressing issues, every other subject is avoided or discussed as politically correctly as possible. Every four years they will belittle their real opposition by totally ignoring them and making the public believe a vote for them is a vote wasted, that there are only two real choices. Every four years they teach us to vote defensively by identifying the worst candidates and voting for their closest competitors. Every four years they will point their fingers at each other and call "thief". They are usually right.

I understand any other country ending up with just two parties, but we've been forced into a bipartisan system in which both alternatives are the same. By law, we are entitled to a referendum to choose between independence and statehood (or anything in between, I suppose). A referendum is a vote by the people, regardless of who is in charge; direct democracy at its finest. In the end, however, I believe we have no say in the colonial status issue, just like a slave has no say on his freedom, and a stranger can't decide he wants to live in your house. There have been a couple of these since I can recall; the result is always inconsequential. Both major parties sabotage the results by adding shady options or diluting the most popular alternative. The last time around the winning option was "none of the above" I shit you not. One of the parties even campaigned for this option.

If you want to know, I am mostly undecided (regarding colonial status); probably because I know I had been looking at a few details from the wrong perspective. I believe most of us have taken a side for the wrong reasons. Many statehood supporters see it as an opportunity to tap into an infinite source of wealth. Many independence supporters believe statehood will entirely rid us of our culture and identity. The rest are just afraid of change. In a way they all make sense, thus we have a very un-debatable subject. This is where democracy comes in. If we can't all be happy, well, then let's try to make the most people happy! I've been reading a lot lately, studying different forms of government, reading the untold story of our country. The best part so far is that now I understand political jokes on TV talk shows. I can't wait until the next election year, when I hope I have a few opportunities to make a few people realize they've been made fools of. People have to realize what they stand for, what they REALLY want for their country. The colonial status-based party system has to end.

This poo shall pass.

Warning: This post contains graphic depictions of potty business.

There comes a time in a man’s life when the call of nature is so strong that one must break free of any comfort zones and venture into the darkest of places: the public restroom. It’s a known fact that one must be cautious in these environments in order not to become diseased. However, the truth is that the entire process would be a lot easier and safer for all of us if everybody stopped being so stupid about it.

Consider this: How often is a public restroom cleaned? How often do you thoroughly clean YOUR bathroom? The first fact of the day is that a properly maintained public restroom is probably cleaner than its domestic counterpart. If you don’t trust the maintenance workers maybe it’s because you know you’d leave behind a mess that you wouldn’t clean up yourself even if you were paid to.

The first step for cleaner bathrooms would be for owners to provide sanitizing wipes rather than those waxed toilet seat liners. The only thing stupider than one of those is when someone uses toilet paper to line the seat. Then they proceed to bend the laws of physics in order to sit down without moving it. I guess they’re pretty confident that it won’t fall in the water and slowly wick the water towards their unsuspecting behinds. What makes them think these liners are sterile, anyway? Are they aware that after each and every flush there are hundreds of drops of toilet water splashed all over the stall (including the TP roll and that liner dispenser)? Of course, now that you're all done, the liner is too gross for you to dispose of properly. Hopefully it’ll eventually get tired of being there and hop into the toilet all by itself when you're not looking.

Then there are those who are way smarter than that, they know liners don’t work. Yep, I’m talking about those douchebags that will somehow get their #2 all over the place but the toilet to avoid sitting down. I guess they believe they can somehow aim their torpedoes from any distance. People who think like this should die of constipation. Think of the employee that is going to have to clean up after you! I swear if I ever find myself in that situation I will quit on the spot. Screw it.

Back to the TP subject, did you know this kind of tissue is designed to be water-soluble? What I’m trying to say is: you’re supposed to flush it (no, it’s not going to clog the toilet, and if it does, then the owner of the building should upgrade their plumbing)! Doesn’t depositing your poo in the garbage bin defeat the purpose of indoor plumbing? You might as well just go in the garbage bin!

I guess all of these principles apply to #1 as well. Even when there are urinals, there’s always the one shy dude that needs to lock up in case he breaks into dance (that would explain the mess) in the middle of his business.

In the end, it’s all a vicious cycle of people that make the bathroom scary because they’re scared of it. Think about it. Keep some sanitizing wipes with you and wash your hands thoroughly when you’re done. Simple.

Update:
Looks like I'm not the only one worried about this subject!

• Adam Carolla Explains Proper Bathroom Etiquette (VIDEO)
• A letter from Oatmeal to the world's crappers.

Nine Eleven

I originally thought of tweeting this, but there are times when 140 characters are not even close.

It’s about the events that occurred in Tuesday September the 11^th, 1979. A beautiful boy that would eventually be known as teh 201d was born that glorious day. I’m positively sure many people were also born that day and even more followed the next year, and the years after just like many will be born next Friday. I attribute this to it being nine months after the first week of December, when couples around the northern hemisphere find the lowered temperatures most opportune for cuddling.

Of course, that would only be important if you were me, which you’re not (because, clearly you are you). Nevertheless, there are also several momentous events linked to this date, for example, according to Wikipedia; Stephen Foster's well-known song, Oh! Susanna was first performed at a saloon in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in September 11, 1847. Is that neat or what? But let’s assume, for a moment, that you actually care about me. Let’s say you know me, even.

Why on earth would anyone approach me upon this date, with a comment about how my birthday is on “nine eleven?” I can’t possibly think of any reason for this except for being an evil, uncaring jerk… or perhaps… HA! That’s it! My friends and family are not evil; they just don’t realize the implications of such comments! Okay, then, what I’ll do is I will compile a list of phrases you “might as well say” (that way I won’t have to spend my 31st birthday hiding from the people I love)!

Things you might as well say:

• I have brought you all the medicines I don’t need anymore for your birthday. Take them all with a tall glass of water and die quietly.
• Wanna come over and burn some Qur’ans?
• Why aren’t you watching the 24 hour special on TV today, you jerk?
• The attacks did not happen on your 22^nd birthday; you were born 22 years before the attacks, you evil terrorist!
• Aren't you ashamed of having your birthday today?
• Don’t you even care about the people who died?
• Are you a terrorist?
• Wanna come over and burn some Bibles?
• What is wrong with you?
• Admit it; you are happy all these people died!
• Wanna come over and burn some people?
• I hate you.
• I poisoned your cake. You’re welcome.
• Yo 201d, I'm really happy for you, I’m ‘a let you finish your birthday cake. But 9/11 is one of the worst days of all time! OF ALL TIME!

Every year on my birthday I can’t help remembering that day. I remember it like it was today. I would forget my anniversary or my kids’ birthdays if they were not recurring events in my calendar, and I may get their baby pictures mixed up, but this one I can’t forget. It was my 22^nd birthday and I had taken the day off from work. I spent the whole day glued to the TV, shocked, hoping things would turn out alright and watching things get worse and worse. I called everyone I knew. I was lucky nobody I knew was there.

I don’t expect people to stop caring, but I would really, really like people to stop bringing me down in a day that’s already sad. It’s sad not only because of the memories, but because of the blatant bigotry that is launched year after year that only seems to worsen with time. I have been cursed by this even though I had nothing to do with it. One thing is not related to the other. There are 8,036 days and about 2,000 miles between one and the other. Please consider this. That would be the best birthday gift EVER.

Facebook: You're doing it wrong.

Let me tell you a little about my general experience with this Facebook service you’ve probably heard of. Back in the day, when MySpace was still relevant, my wife would spend a great deal of time in these social networks. Every once in a while she would call me to show me something neat she had found, or would tell me how she got back in touch with someone from elementary school. I would say “heh, cool” then go about my business, for I knew that behind the social connections, and the sharing of information, lied a vast network of spam and douchebaggery.

At one point I decided I’d give it a shot, chiefly, I guess, because I don’t really “keep in touch” with any of my friends. I am a human being; therefore I get lonely at times. I figured I could disable all the email notifications and carefully adjust the page’s settings to minimize spam and other annoyances. The result of this experiment has been quite satisfactory. I certainly spent the first few weeks blocking applications left and right, and I was extremely careful as of whom to allow the privilege of my electronic friendship.

I would, and still do to this day, befriend only friends, family, and trusted acquaintances. I have declined many a request from people I actually know, just not that much. I also intentionally let out people who could use my information against me, namely supervisors and elderly relatives.

One of the most satisfying circumstances is when friends from very different circles interact when commenting on my posts.

That being said, the true purpose of this post is to point out the different ways in which my friends are ruining this Facebook experience I enjoyed so much, a series of irksome trends that are growing in popularity.

• General inappropriateness: Cursing, posting tasteless pictures, that kind of thing. I mean, seriously, we’re grown ups now. Also keep in mind that it is a growing trend to open accounts for minors, although it is forbidden by the terms of service.
• Improper spelling and grammar: I am not a native English speaker, nor was I formally taught beyond the basics in school (ask any Puerto Rican of my generation and they will agree public school English does not make one bilingual). I put a lot of effort not only on expanding my vocabulary, but also on making sure I did not speak with a silly thick accent. Those of us who have made this extra effort take particular pride on it. I am equally passionate about my native tongue, Spanish. It really bothers me when an American mixes up “your” and “you’re”, and it bothers me because I know they know it's not correct.
• Excessive shorthand: On the same line of thought as the previous, I believe this butchering of the Queen's English is mostly due to the perceived need for fast and furious typing, along with misguided Internet acronyms and "smileys". If you're going to use an acronym, make sure you know the meaning of it and picture it in it's long form. A phrase like "OMG what are you doing?" would make sense, whereas "LOL what are you doing?" would not. Also, a "smiley" can add a lot to a message but should not be part of a sentence.
• Passive-aggressive posts: Look, if you’re mad at someone, but think confrontation would be unwise, try the following: punch a wall, write an angry letter and burn it, stab yourself… but please, do not post an angry note aimed at a second person (i.e. the reader). Eventually a handful of your friends will suspect the post was aimed at them. I, for one, will automatically assume the aggression is indeed aimed at me and will proceed to block you, just to be safe.
• Marketing: So you have joined this shady pyramid scheme great marketing network and need people to join your network in order to make profit. You decide to dust off the old Facebook and tell your neglected friends about all the money you’re making and how financially independent you are. That’s sad, really. I block sad posts. I don’t mind you trying to sell me something just as long as you continue addressing me as a friend and not as a potential customer/recruit/money tree.
• Preaching: I respect your faith (or lack thereof) just as much as I find it disturbing. Keep it away from me, please. This includes all the raging, fanatical, atheists. Also, the word “Amen” is not a substitute for the period at the end of a sentence.
• Tagging: Use tagging to put a square around my face if I indeed am in the picture. If you want to show me the picture use the “share” feature. The same applies for the faces of other people in pictures I have posted. Don’t make me revoke your tagging privileges!
• Profile pictures: Do not use avatars, pets or your own children. Some people aren’t good at remembering names and really rely on the profile picture for reference. Also, your baby is ugly.
• Applications: I don’t really mind the use of applications (however stupid they are) as these can be easily blocked. Some people, however, seem to discover a new, unblocked application on a daily basis.
• Gaming: This is my greatest pet peeve. I have already written about how Facebook games are evil, but to recap: These are crappy games designed to ensnare poor fools into believing they’re having fun while in reality they are only addicted. Luckily, Facebook games are also applications, therefore posts coming from them can be blocked. The new trend is introducing systems that require you to beg other players for items through regular status updates. I will instantaneously block anyone requesting nails, boards, bricks, or widgets. Use the in-game messaging for that.

I hope this explains why I never seem to notice your posts.

Apple's bitch

Ah, music; It can have a very powerful effect on people, but only when timed right (try humming the Star Wars cantina theme at a funeral). I own a very large music library but having it shuffled certainly throws off my mojo. I rely in tools such as smart and pre-made playlists, carefully setting id tags such as Genre, Mood, BPM and closely watching play and skip counts to make sure listening is a satisfying experience. About half of my library is composed of songs I don’t really love but I keep for the sake of variety and because I like to hoard stuff (among other uses). This is why I’m so picky when it comes to using the right player, both at home and abroad.

About 4 years ago I didn’t really have much of a “library”. Half of my songs I kept in the “My music” folder (Windows XP) and the other one at the office. I was lucky back then to be allowed to play music at work. They had a very strict IT policy, but it was perfectly OK to bring audio CDS, eventually one of my superiors suggested I rip them into Windows Media Player when he saw me swapping disks. I remember One day I had WMP scan the entire building’s network for music. I found the entire Green Day collection! I used to take the bus so I got a portable CD player that also played data CDs for the trip.

Eventually I got tired of burning disks and got myself an iPod. Being the underprivileged cheapskate that I am, I got the 512Mb shuffle. At the time it was a cheap alternative, and although there were other players that did more for less, I just didn’t trust the other brands. I installed iTunes with the CD that came bundled-in and decided to allow iTunes to manage my music library.

I switched jobs and I learned the joys of Peer to Peer file sharing. It wasn’t long at all before the library became pretty big and I decided to have iTunes “consolidate tracks” and have it completely manage all my music. I started playing with smart playlists which slowly had me become very anal when it came to have all my tracks organized; I needed to have the right genre, year, track number, artist and it had to be accurately rated, specially with downloaded music. It was all legal, if you’re wondering; Free-to share music and whatnot. Yeah.

One day the shuffle just broke. I went to unplug it and half of it remained plugged in. I had no way to disassemble it or anything. I went a couple of years without portable music (except for the occasional burnt CD) until I started researching MP3 players that were not Apple brand. Long story short, I went through several players, all with all sorts of neat features iPods never had, for a fraction of the price.

Just one issue: iTunes only syncs with iPods. The horror. I had fallen in Apple’s trap. I had to manually copy the files and when I did it didn’t really make a difference in the library. I figured the problem was the software and went looking for alternatives. WMP? Yuck! The interface is ugly, it sorts the music wrong, and they mess up the “artist“and “album artist”, erratically turning them into “artist” and “contributing artist”. I tried a couple more but they were all missing one or two key features. Most recently I tried Songbird, after reading it promised to be the ultimate iTunes killer. Well, this bird needs to grow feathers before it can learn to fly. It was (and is) a bloody mess. So sad, really, because had it worked, it would do everything iTunes did, then some, then sync to my non iPod player.

Last week I was trying to sync it and I was in a hurry to an appointment. It kept freezing up and saying it was full. I was so frustrated I yanked it off the USB port and hurled it at a wall. Poor Sansa c250 went to music player heaven. Why was I so frustrated? Was it the software? The hardware? No. It was because just then I realized I had been Apple’s little bitch for all these years. I had spent countless hours trying to figure out a way to break free, all for naught. There I was on square one.

I broke my piggy bank, took it to the Coinstar and bought a last-generation shuffle. It truly is a wonderful thing. With a built-in speech function, it doesn’t really need a screen, and also, it can now play playlists. It’s so tiny you forget you’re wearing it, and it’s just… so fucking cute! Have you noticed how apple products always look so awesome, and how they always make the previous generation look like crap?

Here I am listening to my new baby as I type. The circle is closed, for now. I can stop researching players… I can finally enjoy music. I am such a crack whore. There is just one thing. These earbuds… they are evil! They are ergonomically sized and shaped to fit the average African elephant (sorry Asian elephants, your ears are too small). I get a headache from wearing the suckers, but I have to if I want to be able to use any features the player has, because the controls are set ON the cable! Whose idea was that? I can use my old noise isolating earbuds just fine, but I can’t do anything but listen. I can get an adapter for about $15, or I could buy the apple-branded alternative for about $90. Almost twice the cost of the player (with earbuds). Genius. Evil genius. I’d smash the iPod against the wall, but it’s so cute…

What Google knows about me

As the dust clouds left by the Great Google Buzz Snafu of 2010 (an actual historic event) fades and the hate posts from blogs across the world begin to diminish I stumbled upon an ad banner that made me want to write about Google too.

Now, before I continue, a few points must be made clear:

1. I love Google
2. I do not wish to have my Gmail, Blogger, YouTube, Picasa, Reader, Wish list, Google Docs or Google Calendar deleted
3. I would die of any of these are deleted
4. I do not think Google is an evil corporation trying to take over the world
5. If at any point Google decides to take its rightful place as ruler of humanity I will not join the imminent rebellion
6. I love Google

At first I thought I’d stay clear of this trend of criticizing Google after the Buzz screw-up, then I thought I’d join in, then I got distracted and forgot about it. If you were not following, what happened was that Google decided to add an entire social network to every Gmail account, and to incorporate the use of every other Google product to this system. If you ask me, it was a very clever idea. The only problem is the way it was implemented. Suddenly everybody had a Buzz account, their friends were selected for them, and lots of information about them shared with these new “friends”. Lots of people went berserk over how, suddenly, because they send a lot of emails to their boss, Google decided their boss wanted to know what they’d been watching on Google Reader. I’d flipped out too if it weren’t for the fact that I don’t email a lot of people. Well, in the end Google realized their mistake, apologized, and fixed it.

Right after this incident, lots of upset users started venting their views on Google’s apparent information monopoly. This is because how Buzz exposed a lot of information about ourselves that many thought was unrelated. Suddenly people realized how much they’ve told Google about themselves throughout all these years. Many panicked, and the truth is that it is a little scary.

Google knows who you email and what you’ve sent them. Google knows what you search for on the internet, and how much you like what you like. Google knows what you do for a living and what you do for fun. Google knows all of your ailments (like when you searched “explosive diarrhea”) and exactly what kind of porn you like best. Google knows you.

My question is: What’s wrong with that? Hey, if Google’s going to post an ad banner (which is what pays for all those free websites you visit) at least it posts something relevant! Google also uses this knowledge to fine-tune your search results. It’s all really awesome. What if it knows what kind of video games I like? That just makes it easier to me to search for video games!

Second, you have to realize, Google is an it, not a he, she or a them. It’s a computerized system. Sure, it’s run by people, but don’t expect to have a human being on the other side of your monitor furiously writing your deepest secrets on a scratch pad. That’s just silly. It’s also silly to assume that Google gives a damn about your darkest secrets. It’s not like the company’s CEO occasionally prints your statistics and shows them to his friends to have a good laugh. It’s not like these statistics can even be printed in a readable format.

There are only two things you should worry about. I shall discuss them even when they are already covered by common sense:

The first is the risk of this data being hacked. Hey, it can happen! Just make sure not to share vital information over the internet, not just Google. Never share your password nor make it anything obvious (and if it’s by any chance “12345” please slap yourself). Follow basic Internet security guidelines and the possibility of your stuff being broken into roughly the same of your house being broken into, you know, where you keep all that delicate information.

The second is mistakes like the implementation of Buzz. To prevent this, well, don’t post anything on the Internet that you would not say in public and adhere to the “nothing nice to say” policy. If you REALLY need to remain anonymous, create separate accounts for those uses and do not use your real name.

See, it’s all common sense, like I said. You can’t expect the Internet to be perfect, after all, its run by humans.

After much deliberation I have linked my actual name to this “201d” persona. Simply put: I may not have much to show, but I have nothing to hide. I am aware a Google search for my real name can lead to thinks I have posted as 201d, and vice versa. I don’t really care.

All this is only to present a setting to the real issue of my post: Why does Google think I’m gay? If Google is supposed to show only relevant ads, why do I only get ads for Gay dating services? Honestly, guys, do I look gay? I promise I will never wear those pants again, it was laundry day and I had nothing else to wear, I swear. Is it maybe because my daughters had been searching for Jonas Brothers pictures without me logging off? If so, so help me God, they’ll be grounded for life, I tell ya.

I just hope the Google Bot crawls trough this page and reads this:

I am a heterosexual male currently married to a heterosexual female. I am not interested in dating, period. I have been feeding you information for over a decade now, and I honestly expected you to get this one bit of information right. Please fix it.

Thanks for reading.

I want proof, not leads!

Warning: This post is a follow-up to the previous. Reading is highly recommended for context.

It’s funny how I mentioned not having to do homework, yet, I found myself spending the entire day doing homework. Not because I wanted to, though. I had to make up for some stuff I hadn’t done for college, history class, to be exact. So there I was half-assing the whole thing when the subject of “Creationism VS Darwinism” came up.

The first thing that struck me is that those were the names used for the two parts. Even though both insist the expression is wrong. I read more about it but there was not much I didn’t know, or needed to know. I had been thinking of a follow-up to that post since I posted it. That was a very busy day and I had no time to sit and think of a proper analogy to convey my logic. I’ve had enough time now. Please, consider this chain of events:

1. Bob tells Timmy at school that his mom told him his dad made his little sister out of sugar and spice.
2. Timmy decides to further investigate, and discovers Bob’s sister is made of neither.
3. Timmy and his friends analyze this and come to the conclusion that Bob’s father does not exist.

This is an exaggerated way to explain it, so that it is even more obvious. What happened back at the days of Darwin was not unlike this schoolyard tale. Then, mankind in general had decided to explore the universe around it, and to seek understanding beyond what had been taught to them, mostly by the church. Those were times of religious wars, Inquisitions, witch hunts and such. One day, this great man discovered what he called evolution… he explained how creatures would adapt to their surroundings over the generations until a new species was born, and eventually, how man had done the same.

1. The church taught Darwin that God made Man out of dirt.
2. He investigated further and discovered man as not made of dirt.
3. The masses analyzed this and came to the conclusion that God does not exist.

What went wrong there? Let’s go back to the schoolyard. Timmy’s discovery was one of great value. And I’m pretty sure Bob figured out his mom lied, or at least was mistaken. Maybe his dad lied, or was mistaken. If Bob and Timmy sat down and discussed this they would probably end up talking to Bob’s mom. Bob’s mom would either tell the truth, if she was lying, or if she was mistaken she’d tell Bob to ask his father. Let’s suppose Bob’s mom was actually convinced her husband had said the truth. Bob’s dad is in a country far away. What would be the next logical step for Bob and Timmy? Set out on a quest to find Bob’s magical baby-making powers? Sure, Bob would eventually grow up and make his own children, but he has no proof his dad could not have used sugar and spice, and this troubles him.

I’ve heard people making fun of Ben “the shiznit” Stein’s expression “Lightning striking a mud puddle”. Have they not figured out that is what Darwinists are telling the masses? “We know man evolved from apes, and apes evolved from Jurassic tadpoles, but that’s all we know, therefore your God does not exist”.

Where did these… Jurassic tadpoles or whatever-the-lowest-species-known-to-mankind-is-called-thingies came from? Where did this world, capable of sustaining life come from? Did it just appear out of nowhere? How come it is so perfect? Even if time and space are infinite, the odds of this just happening are overwhelmed by the odds of the whole thing being destroyed before it was finished! This crap used to keep me awake all night as a kid.

Science will never be able to deny the existence of God, because of his Godly nature. Science may one day prove the existence of God, if, say, God one day decided to appear in Oprah.

This is where the argument ends. Timmy will continue to research, while Bob will actually write his dad every day, hoping for an answer. Timmy and Bob hang out after school and go to the arcades. Mr. Scientist, please, I beg you, continue your research. Mr. Believer, keep on praying, maybe one day God will show up.

The conclusion, based on simple schoolyard logic (I make myself giggle sometimes) is that the terms "creationist" and "darwinist" are inappropriate, that there is - or should - not be such "points of view" and that both are neither opposite, parallel or perpendicular.

I find your faith (or lack thereof) disturbing.

"It takes a great deal of faith to believe the stuff scientists can come up with." - 201d

If I'm ever going to be quoted, I'd like it to be that way. Allow me to elaborate. A documentary film titled "Expelled" has been recently brought to my attention. I haven't had a chance to research the subject much, but that's the beauty of logic. Logic does not require research. If you want to claim wisdom, knowledge, maybe even intelligence, sure, you got to do your homework. But cold hard logic is a yes or no thing. Logic gives me a boner. You can quote me on that too.

The essence of the debate brought forth by Ben “Teh Shiznit” Stein is that educational institutions have been banning scientists who have proposed Intelligent Design as an alternative to Darwinism. What happened was that a horde of angry scientists, atheists and all kinds of ists grabbed their torch-and-pitchfork™ emergency kits and went out on a hunt. “Creationist propaganda” they call it, and they point their fingers at it with anger.

Now I ask you, my beloved reader, what about the “Darwinist propaganda” that has been shoved down our throats since childhood, sponsored by taxpayer funds? What happened to the separation of church and state? Why are my children forced to believe in the theory of evolution?

Yes, my friends, I’ve said theory. It’s not my job to look it up for you. Mind you, that I never said Creation is an absolute truth. It is a concept of religion, myth, or even legend, if you will. And it’s therefore of no consequence for me to convey which I find most appealing.

As a natural born problem solver, I propose you go see this documentary. However you must unlearn what you have been taught. Nobody has been able to scientifically prove neither of these theories. By watching it you shall be entertained by Ben “Teh Shiznit” Stein’s antics, and you might learn a thing about both “sides”; neither has a clue on what’s going on, and that drives them mad.

If this story had a happy ending, it would be like this:

• Darwinist: “You, sir, are an idiot!”
• Creationist: “No! You are!”
• Darwinist: “You have no clue of what you’re talking about!”
• Creationist: “Neither do you!”
• (Awkward silence)
• Darwinist: “Yeah…”
• Creationist: “So, um, wanna go for some ice cream?”
• Darwinist: “ICE CREAM! YAY!”

The story of stuff

The story of stuff is a sad story indeed. I just stumbled upon this webpage, http://www.storyofstuff.com/ a few minutes ago and thought I had to share. We all know most of this stuff but it serves both as a good reminder and as a way to get the way much bigger picture.

I suggest you watch it before stepping out to the mall. Stop buying crap that you don't need, specially if it's designed to break in a few days.

Pro Death

So on my way home I see this one office. It was painted pink and purple and had a big sign that said FAMILY PLANNING.

*sigh*

You know, if you think something is right you should stand proud and yell the good news to every human being (for example I occasionally run around the mall yelling "WAFFLES, WAFFLES!!"). Why would you try to sugar-coat your intentions? Or what bugs me the most, why pick a misleading euphemism?

Last time I checked, the verb "planning" means to think before you act. If you're gonna run an abortion clinic, why not call it a "Family quick-fix clinic"? You know, your 14 year-old daughter failed to think ahead, we're here to fix it!

If they all stood proud of their beliefs, mankind would eventually reach this optimal state in which you could take your 8-year-old son to a "Family quick-fix clinic" to "take care of it".

This is not about whether I'm pro-life or pro-death. It's about the rampant use of crappy euphemisms.

Letting Go

Ever since I first lay my hands on that NES controller, I knew It'd be the neatest thing to make games. In school I'd draw "levels" in my notebook and have my friends play them. When I got my first computer I started to learn programming, and as soon as I was old enough to think about a carreer I knew I wanted to be a game programmer. And so When the time came to go to college, I opted for computer sciences.

In college I learned a lot of things, like how to be a grown up. (I didnt really learn squat about game programming, though).

That was about 10 years ago. Every once in a while I catch myself daydreaming of the great game that could have been, and instead of slapping myself across the face and telling myself to go back to work, I let the little boy inside of me go on that fantastic voyage. It still makes me warm and fuzzy inside, I've just learned to let go. I'm not saying you should give up on your dreams. I just had to because of the direction life was taking me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should give yourself an early reality check and let go before you find yourself turning 40 and having accomplished any of your dreams.

I still have many things I want to do before I die, and I still enjoy gaming. Not just playing games, but watching them, trying to figure out what the programmers were thinking... I might pick up game-making later in life...

Why did I come up wit this topic? The creation of this blog. For about 10 years as well I've been a web design enthusiast. For the last year i've been working on a PHP page that wuld serve as my blog, but after an 8 month pause I came home to a text editor full of code I don't remember. Then I saw a friend's blogger blog and decided maybe it was time to let go of that and just use a ready-made blog system. I'm lovin' it. I feel a lot lighter now.